Sirius's Story
by OnceUponAWonderland
Summary: There were many girls in Sirius Black's life, but none were as special as his Sophia. Abandoned story for now.... sorry
1. Opening

**A/N -- Hey!! Okay, so this is my first story that I am publishing on . I'm very excited about it. This is just the opening (a preface, I guess you could say, because it's not exactly a prologue or anything) so don't get scared by the minimal substance. Let me know what you think! -- onceuponawonderland**

In my opinion, this story isn't really all that special; not exactly the best-seller you'd look for in a bookstore. I'm just a regular-Joe who, like everyone else, went to Hogwarts, fell in love and fought in the war (the first one, against Voldemort). Except not really... Okay, so I guess I see where my friends are coming from. After all, my love story isn't at all what one would expect and the war – well the war is a story in itself.

Alright, do maybe this story is worth telling. But I'd really rather not be the one to tell it. I mean really! I have better things to do with my life! I am Sirius Black after all.

It is currently seven o'clock on a Saturday night and I'm home, doing nothing, because my best friends are all dead and the people I would usually hang out with are busy. That's very depressing, now that I have time to think about it. Nothing good is on my TV (yes, the muggle one I bought years ago because Lily told me to) and I already had dinner. I'm sitting writing this, on my couch, in my living room.

Okay so maybe I don't have anything better to do....


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One**

You could say that my story started when I was born. After all, that's when my life began, so logically, one would assume that my story began then as well. Well it didn't, at least, not really. The story that is worth telling only began when I started Hogwarts and met the greatest people in the world, a.k.a., my best friends. I could start this story then, on September 1, 1971, but that would be a really long novel full of stuff you probably already know. Plus, I just don't feel like writing about all of that. So aside from finding about Moony's "Furry Little Problem" as James liked to call it, forming the Marauders and joining the Quidditch team, nothing really happened those first three years at Hogwarts. With fourth year came James's obsession (and by obsession I mean OBSESSION) with Lily Evans and my first time getting laid. She was Meredith Blake and she was a 7th year Ravenclaw. It was bloody amazing!

But you already know about me and my womanizing ways. I know that it wasn't exactly mature, or nice… at all… but hell! I was young, available and fucking gorgeous; you've got to cut me some slack. Alright, I'm getting back to the point now. In fifth year, Lily and Snape had that fight and Remus became a Prefect. The summer before my sixth year is when my story really starts, and the summers following that first summer are crucial in this story as well, but the school years really aren't. You basically know what happens and what you won't know, I'll tell you. Save paper and all that (save me from hand-cramps more like!).

Anyways, you're probably wondering what's so special about the summer before my sixth year. Well, first off, that's the summer that I ran away from home (you'd understand if you knew my family) and moved in with the Potters. The Potters are great, they're like family to me; real family – ones that don't torture you for being in Gryffindor and not joining Voldemort. Stupid family….. But getting back to the point. That summer I moved in with the Potters, but it wasn't the Potters that made that summer so unbelievably brilliant! Not that I don't love the Potters, I really do. But that's the summer that I met Allie and nothing… I mean nothing… could have been better than that.

Alexandra (Allie) Elizabeth Howard. She was the Potter's muggle neighbor and that summer she would slowly but surely become my reason for living. The summer of 1976 was a summer filled with parties, Quidditch and James's "this is the year that Lily will fall for me" strategies. But most of all, that summer was filled with Allie. Every moment possible, I was with Allie. We did everything together; as Emily (Mrs. Potter) said "one could not be seen without the other, most of the time". And better yet, Allie was what one would call an "informed muggle", which made life a shit-load easier for me and James.

Anyone who knew me that summer said that I had never been happier. And yet, despite the greatness of those two months (more or less), there was a raincloud constantly hanging over our heads. Every week, the death count rose and more and more people were disappearing. Mr. and Mrs. Potter tried to keep things hidden from us "kids", but it's not like we were stupid! The Daily Prophet became our most valued reading material. Every afternoon, James, Allie and I would gather in the park near the two houses and read the paper together under the shade of a big tree. And every day, I ignored the fact that each passing hour brought me closer and closer to September 1st, and King's Cross Station.

The day before I left for my 6th year at Hogwarts, Allie and I broke up. She came to see James and I off, and then announced that she wanted me to be single while I was away at school. Had she heard about my womanizing? Did she somehow know the stories? I could say that I wasn't upset by her sudden refusal to be my girlfriend (notice the word I use here: 'girlfriend'; I, Sirius Black, had called a girl my girlfriend). I would be lying.

All through my sixth year, all I could think about was Allie. It was only ever "Allie this" and "Allie that" with my (according to my friends) and I was anxious to talk to her; to see her again. But she didn't respond to any of my letters and over the two holidays, she wasn't home. When the next summer rolled around, I was still maintaining hope that I would see Allie. Every day, I would go to her house and every day, she wasn't there. I left letters for her. I left flowers. I left a request with her mother that Allie was told of my daily visits. I was worried about her.

Despite my efforts though, still, there was nothing. No word from her, no sight of her… nothing. But I was determined not to give up. Never once did I stop thinking about her; Allie was plaguing my every thought. Never once did I consider moving on; Allie was my everything.

When I returned to school for my final year, I still had not seen Allie. I sent her letters and pictures and even ever-lasting roses from Hogwarts. I had stopped hooking up with girls. I had stopped talking to girls at all actually, except for Lily Evans (who turns out is very nice). In fact, people thought there was something wrong with me. And even though my hope was weaning, I was happy as I ever was because I had a feeling things were different, and that they had changed for the better.

By the time I graduated in June of 1978, James and Lily had fallen in love, Remus had snagged himself a job and a girl and Peter had managed to pass all his classes. And here I was – the notorious womanizer, Sirius Black – having not shagged a single girl since the summer before my sixth year. What was stranger was that I didn't mind. It had felt right. The only girl that meant anything to me was Allie Howard.

James and I returned to Potter Manor, which was my home now as much as it was James's, after graduation to give ourselves a few-days-worth of relaxation before the job-and-house-hunt began. And of course, we were both extremely excited to be seeing Allie for the first time in two years. The night before my graduation I had realized something that would change my life. I had finally come to terms with the fact that I had fallen head-over-heels for a girl. I, Sirius Black, was completely and totally in love with Allie Howard and I couldn't wait to tell her.

I never got that privilege.

Before my stuff had been fully dragged into the house, I ran next door to the Howard's. It was a Friday night, but Allie would be home. She had finally responded to one of my letters and I had made sure she would be there when we got home. Except she wasn't there. Her family was there, but they were in no mood for guests. The house was clean, but they couldn't entertain. As her younger brother Carson led me into the main room, a sense of dread I should have known to expect washed over me, filling me with a cold, desperate sadness that confused me.

My eyes roamed the room, taking the scene in slowly. In the love seat, Mrs. Howard sobbed silently, her hands covering her face. Mr. Howard stood by the window, staring out blankly as if he wasn't actually seeing the cheerful blue sky, or the birds flying from treetop to treetop. An unfamiliar relative – probably an Aunt – sat in an arm chair, a stunned look on her face and a baby in her lap. And in the middle of the room…. In the middle there was a box, and in that box was Allie.

**A/N -- So what do you think? This was an idea that came to mind during some class at school (Algebra 2 probably....) and I figured I'd just see where it takes me. I'm looking foward to hearing comments or questions so let me know!! **


	3. Chapter Two

**Here's chapter 2!! Remember to review!!! **

**Chapter Two**

As soon as I saw her I ran back home to tell James. Only I couldn't seem to find my voice, so I dragged him out of the house, leading him toward the one next door.

"Padfoot mate, what's going on?" James asked frantically, struggling to gain control. I didn't answer him. No voice, remember? "Padfoot – Sirius!?!? Talk to me!"

"I love her, James." Man that felt amazing to say aloud. James dug his heels into the dirt, forcing me to stop and turn to face him.

"What was that Sirius?" But, like my runaway voice, my eyes didn't want to listen to my brain, and I couldn't bring myself to look James in the face. Instead, I looked at anything other than my best friend. My shoes, his shoes, the trees, and the pathway in-between the two brick houses… they were all suddenly very interesting. "Sirius?"

"You love Lily, right?" I ask, still not meeting his gaze. "Well Allie is my – _was_ my Lily. I love her." Confused swept across James's features, but I knew my friend well enough to know it wasn't because of my sudden declaration. No, James had caught on to my verb-tense switch.

"Oh! Boys, please do come in. It's so very hot out and you shouldn't be outside much longer." Mrs. Howard had come outside, dressed in a long-sleeve black cardigan and long skirt; no wonder she thought it was so hot out! "There is a rather important discussion that I feel is necessary to have with you and right now would be the perfect time." Nodding our heads, James and I followed her sad, slow gait into the house. James, still confused, shot me curious glances every two seconds.

I hung my head as we entered the main room; I couldn't bear to look up and see the box that held my Allie. Instead, I counted down the seconds until James's Quidditch-and-Lily filled mind would process what my verb-tense switch had meant. And one…. Two…. Three…. There it was. The gasp that meant James had put two and two together. As I listened to the echo of that gasp, the entirety of the situation dawned on me. I'm not ashamed to admit that a few tears made their way down my cheeks then. Mrs. Howard didn't stop in the main room though, and led us into the kitchen instead. James and I sat down while Mrs. Howard tried to fix some tea.

"Mrs. Howard – allow me." James offers, after his neighbor had broken a third teacup. He used his wand to clean up and repair the broken cups and then went about making tea. In a few seconds the tea was ready and James sat back down, the three cups of tea each floating their way to one of the three of us. "It's much easier and quicker with magic." James explained. I nursed mine slowly as Mrs. Howard gathered up enough self control to speak. At last, she managed to find the words… of course that was also when I had begun to speak.

"Mrs. Howard, you should know that I loved your daughter very much. Still do, as a matter of fact." I say, my voice cracking a bit. Mrs. Howard began to cry even harder and James kicked me hard under the table.

"Allie loved you too…. Very much." She hiccoughed. "Allie loved you too." She then rose from the table and left the room. Before James and I had a chance to follow her though, she was back. In her arms this time was the baby I had seen sitting on an Aunt's lap earlier that hour. Mrs. Howard sat down again and placed a photo album on the table in front of me.

"She always said that she would tell you when you graduated. She said that she wanted your choice to be based on love, not a sense of obligation. I want you to know that you still have that choice Sirius." What? What was Mrs. Howard talking about? Surely she wasn't old enough yet to speak in riddles that nobody but herself could understand (*cough*Dumbledore*cough*). Mrs. Howard gestured with her free arm to the photo album. I opened it slowly, unsure of what I would find.

Allie. Her smiling face filled up the entire first page. I couldn't help but smile with her. The next page held two pictures, both of the two of us, Allie and me, at the park about a month before I left for Hogwarts, for my sixth year. As I turned the pages, it was like the clock was ticking once again toward my departure. Feeling like I was about to burst, I turned a page once more. There, smack dab in the middle, was Allie with a stick in her hand. Under the picture, in Allie's writing were the words _"Who knew one little pee stick could change my life so drastically?" _My eyes darted up to the somber face of Mrs. Howard.

"Go on dear." She pushed, and turned the page for me. The entire next section was pictures of Allie, her stomach growing bigger and bigger and rounder and rounder. Pregnant? Allie? But how?

_Don't be stupid, Sirius. You know exactly 'how'._ A voice, that sounded a lot like Remus, chided.

"B-but… there was only that one time. And… And we were safe… I think…." I stammered, not looking away from the pictures. The thoughts were racing across my mind. Could this really be my child? Well obviously; why else would Mrs. Howard be showing me this? Plus, her introduction to the album made sense now. Allie had broken it off because she wanted me to have my freedom, so that when I made my decision it wouldn't be because I felt obligated to help. Of course, from the moment I had fallen in love with her (which was really the moment I saw her, probably) my decision had been made for me. If that child was mine, and there was no doubt that it was, I would love it forever, and with all of my ability.

"Sirius? Are you okay?" James asked. I nod. My hands flip through the pages at top-speed now, desperate to find some hard evidence that the baby that had been growing inside Allie was mine.

And there it was. The picture was of Allie, home from the Hospital, with the newborn baby in her arms. But it was the letters that caught my attention.

"Sophia Arabella Black. Born 12 May, 1977."

And that's when I, Sirius Black, completely broke down and started crying.


	4. AN Will become a chapter soon!

Hey guys – sorry I haven't updated in practically forever! I have a good reason though, I promise you, and as soon as I have the time, I'll put up the next chapter (or maybe I'll just wait until I have the next few and put them all up at once… not sure). Anyways, my reasons are as follows.

Firstly, school has been insane. My dad's been pushing me a lot with grades lately (which is new, for him but whatever…) So there's that. But my main reason is that I have been focusing on a fanfic that I started before Sirius's Story, but hadn't posted. Anyways, I'm really excited about it but I'm being superstitious. So far, all of it has been written on notebook paper and unlined printer-paper, and I'm refusing to type up any of it until I'm done. It's called 'Man's Best Friend'; though I might change it later (my characters have been hinting that they want me to change the title…..), so keep your eye out. It'll be a while though, and I'll try to update SS soon.

~~OnceUponAWonderland

Oh, also…. I've talked to a few of my friends about this (we've had many a discussion =P). How many of you writers are constantly tormented by the characters in your head?

Mine argue the most, I think, and if they're not arguing with each other, they're arguing with me!! It's amusing sometimes, but results me chastising said character (generally something like, "I'm the one writing this story, so you just shut up or it won't be written") and my friend's boyfriend calling me insane. =D Okay, now you all probably agree with her boyfriend and think I'm insane. I probably am… but then you wouldn't have these fanfics!

Updates soon!


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